Glaugust 2026: What isn't a fighter, a wizard, a cleric, or a thief?

 So it's August and that rhymes with Glaugust and that's what we're doing. I missed the first few days but that's fine. Today's prompt is: A short class which is absolutely not a fighter, not a wizard, not a cleric and not a thief. Which sounds easy at first but "thief" is honestly such a broad category when it comes to GLOG classes that I'm not sure I succeeded.

This looks kinda like a shitty Spamton NEO but it's not.

GLOG Class: My Last Ninja Was Just A Fighter

Mall Rats are varied in kind and skills, but all serve only one master: the great god Greed. A Mall Ninja serves a greater power: Pride. In the service of Pride, you take a Lord. Your Lord is the best Lord, and protecting them is your purpose. Anyone who questions your methods is just jealous.

Thanks to Grek for figuring out how to get Unstable to work.

Also thanks to TitleKnown for ordering me to create this class.

Also I suppose this is a bandwagon Assassin class

A mall ninja, probably

GLOGtober 2024-7 Acrostic

 So I'm still on my phone. I left my laptop at home. That's been a pain, but I don't need it for my classes today. Prompt from https://bitspieces.bearblog.dev/

This is an acrostic, right?

GLOGtober 2024-6 Color

So I'm writing this on my phone. Hopefully that'll be fine. Ok I fought autocorrect three times writing that sentence, it's not fine. Whatever. The prompt is from https://spiceomancy.blogspot.com/

The future of gaming is color.

GLOGtober 2024-3 Anime-Inspired Content

So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into GLOGtober.

I came up with that sentence myself. Technically. Anyhoo, I rolled a thing for today's post, then rerolled it in a moment of weakness, and then ended up with a prompt that I myself submitted. Cool?

Anime

GLOG Class: What Sound Does A Dragon Make

So I was thinking about more 80s/90s cult classics to base 80s/90s cult classes off of, and I realized I'd never seen Buckaroo Banzai. And then I realized that I *had* seen Miami Connection.

Friends through eternity, loyalty, honesty, stay together through thick and thin.

GLOGtober 2023-10

So I missed yesterday again, not sure if I can do 11 today. Might be behind by a day for a bit. Ah well.

Divinity Incarnate

The prompt was, "Notes about a family of gods."

GLOG Class: Skaven

So someone asked if there was a Skaven class for GLOG. And I was like "WTF is a Skaven" but then I looked it up and I did in fact know what a Skaven was. So here it is.

It has been over a year since I started this class.

I don't think this is what the song's about.

Class(is): Henshin

 So Kamen Rider is a pretty cool series.

HENSHIN!

The Wizard of Light House

So theisticGilthoniel (the author of Homestuck) impressed me (in the British sense) into making a Wizard School. He then handed me the wizard school I was to make, completely finished. I am thus bound by a will not my own to deliver unto you, dear reader, my completely original work. It's based, but it's also based off some movie about a "light house", whatever that is.

"What do you get when you cross an electrically charged loner with a bear from the darkest jungles of Peru"
"You get what you heckin' deserve"
Coming 2019

Class: Scrapmaster

 So this class makes stuff.

There's no response, it's just trash.

GLOG Class: Roller Knight

So this is a class that is inspired by a sport that I don't know anything about.

You use these instead of shoes.

GLOG Class: Nikoniko Pretty Soldier

So I'm trying to make a couple more classes for Mall Rats that are less weird, or at least weird in a more normal way?

In the name of the... star, I guess.

GLOG Class: Big Monkey

So they're finally here, performing for you. If you know the words you can join in too. Put your hands together (if you want to clap). As we take you through this monkey rap.

Monkey

GLOG Class: Monkey Man

So here's a class inspired by an old PC near and dear to my heart. His name was Mr. Special.

Hep hep hep

GLOG Class: Cool As Ice

 So I'm still making GLOG classes to fill out Mall Rats. Pretty much the only pre-2000s rap I really listen to is Rage Against The Machine and a couple Beastie Boys albums... And the only post-2000s rap I listen to is like, Death Grips, 100 gecs, and Eichlers.

Why am I making this, I have no cultural context for anything.

Inspiration taken from HEIMJING's Calligrapher class.

It's not even real gold it's just painted stainless steel.

GLOG Class: Secret Snake

So I'm trying to expand the class list for Mall Rats, and I like action movies.

Sneaky Snake

GLOG Class: Dragon

So some dingus on the OSR server asked for a dragon class and while this may not be everything they wanted it probably technically fulfills the request.

dis u?

GLOG Wizard: Flex Wizard™

Greetings adventurer! I am Phillip the Swift, crier of Flex Wizard™ - the incredibly potent waterproof wizard that can instantly patch, bond, seal, and repair!

Please don't sue me Mr. Swift.

 

GLOG Class: Pocket Rocker

Onto the M-U. Now what's more magical than music? And what's more bad than music in your pocket? This is more or less where I got the idea for this setting/ruleset/whatever it is.

This is the thing I'm talking about. It plays little audio cassettes.