Whoops! The Mall Rats Mall Remastered?

So I accidentally deleted the Tomb of Xzyzzyx. So here it is again, from memory and with probably some changes.

At least I didn't delete this. + means a door, S means a secret door, $ means a cool item, : means rubble.

The Tomb of Xzyzzyx

The Tomb of Xzyzzyx is a yet-unexplored section of what was the primary mall for the inhabitants of the suburban neighborhood of Brentwood. It is so named after the sign outside the entrance advertising the newly opened (at the time of the Crash) gaming store, the Tomb of Xzyzzyx. No human has been to it in ages, as the mysterious sounds of scampering footsteps and murmuring have been enough to deter the risk-averse inhabitants of Brentwood.

Recently people have been seeing strange, spherical creatures (with three legs and three arms) rummaging through trash bins at night and stealing the contents. Further, a few have witnessed similar creatures sneaking back into the Tomb of Xzyzzyx with their hauls.

The HOA has entreated the group to find and stop these creatures from disturbing the peace of Brentwood.

1: The Foyer

The double-doors leading into this room from outside are planked over. With a couple minutes it’s possible to remove the planks, but the players could also carefully climb through a hole near the bottom, avoiding the broken shards of glass. Once inside, the players see that there’s a comics and games store (2: The Tomb of Xyzzyx) to the west and a clothing store (3: The Restricted) to the east. While the doors to 2: The Tomb of Xyzzyx are so covered in stickers that the players would have to peer in from up close to see what’s inside, the glass wall of 3: The Restricted easily allows you to see the R.O.S.S. units inside.

The Foyer also contains two knocked over vending machines, directly east of the main entrance. They have been broken into and contain only a couple of candy bars wedged into a crack, easy enough for a human arm to remove.

2: The Tomb of Xyzzyx

The Tomb of Xyzzyx is a comic and game store. It contains a wall formerly full of comics (most of the comics have been taken off the wall, read, and piled in a corner), a few game cartridges for the Hyper Funicom and Mega Revelation video game systems (6 games, each taking up a 1/3 of a slot and each worth 15 Bitcoins), and a Mega Revelation game system with Light Uzi peripheral in a glass case. There are also 6 R.O.S.S. units. At any time, 1 is acting as the leader, 3 of them are worshiping the Mega Revelation (they think it’s a Hyper Funicom), 1 is watching the door, and 1 is looking at the pictures in a comic book. These roles change frequently.

They will not attack unless provoked, such as if you attempt to take their Mega Revelation (1 slot, 100 Bitcoins) or it’s Light Uzi (a Rad item that is worth 100 Bitcoins and attacks three times a turn, each for 1d4 damage and -1 to hit for each 5’ of range). They can be convinced to give up the Light Uzi if you sufficiently humiliate the R.O.S.S.es in 3: The Restricted, such as by stealing their leader’s tiara and giving it to the Tomb’s R.O.S.S.es.

3: The Restricted

A clothing store, the clothes are all out of style and worthless by now. 6 R.O.S.S.es sit around gossiping about seemingly nonexistent people. They are led by Heather, a R.O.S.S. wearing a pink tiara (a Rad item that gives its wearer +2 AC). They are not aggressive unless provoked. They would be willing to trade the tiara if the players humiliate the R.O.S.S.es in 2: The Tomb of Xyzzyx, perhaps by slipping one of them a mug of drain cleaner.

4: The Hallway

There’s a long garden that sits in the middle of the hallway, all the plants overgrown and unkept. Three doors on the west wall lead to 5: Max Baddy, 6: Men’s Bathroom, and 7: Women’s Bathroom in order. Two doors on the east wall lead to 8: Civildisobediencebooks and 9: StereoHovel. After that, the ceiling has collapsed, preventing any further exploration.

5: Max Baddy

Max Baddy mostly has the remains of audio cassettes, video tapes, and laserdiscs strewn about the floor. It looks like something massive has been gnawing on everything in here. In the back of the room, a Talker floats, facing a shelf. If someone gets close, it will babble more aggressively, then attack.

6: Men’s Bathroom

The men’s bathroom looks fairly empty, although there’s a few trash bags by the sinks. One of them is a Trash in disguise. It contains a dead Danger Michael (4 Bitcoins, takes up 1/10 an item slot), a tape deck (50 Bitcoins, 1 item slot), a +1 Yo-Yo (Rad weapon, +1 to hit and damage, can hit from twice as far away, 75 Bitcoins), and a Pocket Rocker cassette containing Who’s That Girl/Material Girl (Everyone has a (penalty)/(bonus) to stealth checks of [Levels]).

7: Women’s Bathroom

The women’s bathroom is flooded ankle deep, although the water doesn’t move past the door due to the power of the statue inside. Inside is a Fountain Statue guarding a stone treasure chest.

Fountain Statue

LEVEL: 5

HP: 14

STR: 6 DEX: -4 MIND: 2

ATTACK: 3 DEFENSE: 3

INITIATIVE: 0

ITEM SLOTS: 2

STEALTH: -6

MOVE: 2

Abilities:

> Can bite or claw for 1d6 damage.

> Can (in addition to a bite or claw attack) blast with a stream of water for 1d8 damage (-2 to ATTACK for each 5’ of range).

The chest contains a +3 cursed longsword made of smooth black stone (1d6 in one hand, 1d8 in two hands, 1 item slot, +3 to ATTACK and damage rolls, cannot be parted with and it will attempt to corrupt it’s wielder).

8: Civildisobediencebooks

None of the books here are particularly cool or valuable, but a panel in the back of the store has been moved to reveal a back passageway (10: The Backways).

9: StereoHovel

StereoHovel was an electronics and hobby store, but this one seems to have been picked clean. There’s bits and pieces of broken electronics, but a large amount of product simply seems to not be here. Close investigation of the rear wall reveals another secret panel, leading to 10: The Backways again.

10: The Backways.

A short hallway behind the stores, wallpapered in beige patterns. At the south end, the skeleton of a person wearing a Wheat Gluten Dog on a Stick uniform leans against a wall. A rusty knife (1d2 damage, 1 slot, worthless) sticks out of their ribcage. They’re wearing a Chain of Rap Battles (Rad gold chain. Once per person, the wearer may begin rapping and activate the Chain of Rap Battles. They are immortal until they stop rapping or a minute passes, whichever comes first).

Between the 8: Civildisobediencebooks entrance and the 9: StereoHovel entrance a pipe has collapsed through the ceiling. Getting the rubble moved and getting over it is possible, but would take enough time and make enough sound that it would surely alert the aliens in 11: The Alien Base. The players can see the other side of the 9: StereoHovel secret panel from behind the pile of rubble.

11: The Alien Base

If the players haven’t made much noise, they aren’t noticed by the trio of aliens when they enter. Each has a spherical body, a triangle of eyes on their face, three arms, and three legs. The room has computer parts attached to every part of the wall, all wired together, as well as a flying saucer crashed through the north wall. The aliens have been working on a signal to call for help after their spaceship malfunctioned. Convincing them of any sort of plan that doesn’t result in their return home is difficult, but they are certainly open to not having to dig through trash anymore. Their initial reconnaissance suggested that aliens were not treated well by the people of Earth.

Alien

LEVEL: 3

HP: 10

STR: 0 DEX: 2 MIND: 4

ATTACK: 4 DEFENSE: 2

INITIATIVE: 0

ITEM SLOTS: 6

STEALTH: -4

MOVE: 2

Abilities:

> Can punch for 1d4 damage.

> Can fire a laser blaster for 1d8 damage ( -1 to ATTACK for every 20’ of range).

If the aliens stop stealing trash, the HOA will consider this a job well done.