Mall Rats: Monsters of the Megamall

So I figured I should probably expand what I'd actually written on Mall Rats. I've got a decent amount of ideas, but they're all in my head - rendering the rulebook a bit underwhelming. So here's some monsters you can use in Mall Rats, hopefully giving people a bit of a better idea of what I'm going for.

It's a dude in a mall.

Monsters of the Megamall

Randy 9000

LEVEL: 4

HP: 12

STR: -2, DEX: -6 MIND: 8

ATTACK: 5 DEFENSE: 2

INITIATIVE: 0

ITEM SLOTS: 0

RAM: 1 Megabyte!

ROM: 300 Megabytes!!

STEALTH: -8

MOVE: -2

Abilities:

• Cannot melee attack.
• Can fire floppy discs twice per turn (deal 1d4 damage each, -1 to ATTACK for each 20' of range)

The Tandy 9000 had many improvements over the 8000 model. It was bigger, faster, had a 300 megabyte internal hard drive, and came with a free productivity suite pre-installed on the hard drive. Sadly the word processor's AI helper mascot "Randy" gained sentience mere weeks after release. The Randy 9000 (as it was renamed by the public) was quickly recalled, but some people instead learned to work together with their copy of Randy. "It's rough having to get enough broken processors to feed it, and I think it killed my cat and hid the body, but I haven't made a typi since I got it!" one owner commented on a BBS for fans of the PC. Aside from the domesticated Randys, many Randy 9000s were still on shelves during the Great Crash. Without human intervention, feral Randy 9000s have become commonplace in and around the electronics stores of abandoned megamalls. They tend to enjoy consuming processors, resulting in most other computers left in stores with a Randy infestation to be broken open and disemboweled.

Randy 9000 (Mouse Included)

LEVEL: 4

HP: 12

STR: -2, DEX: -6 MIND: 8

ATTACK: 5 DEFENSE: 2

INITIATIVE: 0

ITEM SLOTS: 1 (cannot melee attack while holding something)

RAM: 1 Megabyte!

ROM: 300 Megabytes!!

STEALTH: -8

MOVE: -2

Abilities:

• Can perform a normal ATTACK check vs 10 + the target's DEFENSE. On a success, the target cannot move away from the Randy 9000 unless they first succeed on a contested STRENGTH check. Randy can do this in addition to firing a floppy disc once.
• Can fire floppy discs twice per turn (deal 1d4 damage each, -1 to ATTACK for each 20' of range)

Angry Possum

LEVEL: 2

HP: 8

STR: -4 DEX: 6 MIND: 0

ATTACK: 3 DEFENSE: 4

INITIATIVE: 2

ITEM SLOTS: 1

STEALTH: 2

MOVE: 3

Abilities:

• Can climb walls at full speed, and ceilings at half.
• Can scratch things for 1d6 damage.

Not all post-Crash inhabitants of the megamalls of America are as high-tech as the Randy 9000. In the years since, many small animals have found refuge in the strange halls. Some of them are grumpy. Some can be placated with food.

Suit

LEVEL: 1

HP: 6

STR: 6 DEX: 0 MIND: -6

ATTACK: 2 DEFENSE: 2

INITIATIVE: 0

ITEM SLOTS: 6

STEALTH: -6

MOVE: 2

Abilities:

• Can bludgeon with arms for 1d8 damage.
• Can bodyslam for 1d4 damage.
• Does not die at 0 HP. Every hit after reaching 0 damage removes a head or arm at random.
• If all heads are removed, the Suit stops moving until it is replaced.
• Some Suits do not have arms.

Suits are mannequins animated during the Great Crash. They often act like stereotypical versions of whatever they are dressed as, with skater fashion Suits using suitable slang, and business-casual Suits insisting they have very serious jobs that keep them very busy. Any suggestion that the Suits are not real people results in intense aggression. They also react negatively to anyone dressed in particularly sloppy or ostentatious clothes and people riding bikes indoors. They often travel in packs of like-dressed Suits.

Talkers

LEVEL: 8

HP: 20

STR: -4 DEX: -8 MIND: 10

ATTACK: 9 DEFENSE: 5

INITIATIVE: 0

ITEM SLOTS: 6 (Stores items inside the mouth)

STEALTH: -10

MOVE: 2

Abilities:

• Can spit 6-inches wide, life-preserver shaped projectiles (1d8 damage, -1 ATTACK for each 20' of range)
• Explodes upon death. This doesn't deal any damage, but it looks kinda gross.
• Floats about 3 feet off the ground. Cannot cross pits, but takes no damage from falling.

Talkers began showing up in megamalls soon after the Great Crash. They seem to be of extraterrestrial origin. Their reason for coming to Earth is unknown, but they have a sweet tooth. They would likely have consumed all the candy remaining in the megamalls if it weren't for their lack of hands to open doors and drawers. In most situations, they will "speak" what sounds like a dozen different voices babbling incoherently. If someone gets too close, they usually begin to babble more aggressively, and attack without warning. It is recommended to not approach a Talker without a proper gift to ensure safe passage. They usually find a room or section of hallway to "nest" in, and occasionally go out to search for (and eat) any deceased organic creatures. It is rare to find more than one in the same place, as they are rather territorial.

Trash

LEVEL: 0.5

HP: 3

STR: -6 DEX: 8 MIND: -4

ATTACK: 1 DEFENSE: 8

INITIATIVE: 4

ITEM SLOTS: 4

STEALTH: 4

MOVE: 6

Abilities:

• Can body slam for 1d4 damage.
• Carries 4 items - 1d4 of which are Rad Items (items with special abilities) or Pocket Rocker audio cassettes - and 1d6*10 Bitcoins.

Trash are hoarders created during the Crash. They appear as trash bags with two (filthy) humanoid legs sticking out of the bottom. They usually flee from any perceived threats immediately, fighting only if cornered.