GLOGtober 2023-12

So even though the words "fairy tale" have, I think, an European connotation (?) this post is going to not have an European connotation (??). It'll have an American connotation, I guess, because I'm American (???).

I dunno maybe "fairy tale" is a universal thing, and it's just that the society I live in has an European connotation sometimes (????). Fairy tale just makes me think fairies and the further away you get from fairies the less I think of it as a fairy tale. I don't even know if these are fairy tales disregarding connotations (?????) (seriously what's a fairy tale).

Maybe it would have been cooler if I let you assume that the post would have an European connotation (??????) ("an European" doesn't sound right) and then let you flounder trying to ascribe each scenario to a tale.

Whatever, the prompt is, "Fairy tales."

I think this post is probably better if neither you nor your players recognize what the hell I'm referencing.

Wikipedia says this is what fairy tales look like

Encounters: Fairy Tales

These are intended to be placed in overland random encounter tables, probably in a more dungeon fantasy type campaign. I would suggest replacing most of these entries after the first time you roll them.

1

A young man about an inch tall is stuck, as the stream he has been rowing a bowl down has been blocked by a tree branch. He says he's heading for the big city, to make a name for himself. The next time he is encountered - perhaps in the big city - he will be about 6 feet tall and have a magic mallet. If you helped him at the stream then with a shake of his mallet he will summon a hefty sum of gold and treasures in appreciation. Otherwise he'll just brag about how rich he is now.

2

A young man wanders, disheveled and distraught. He wears strange, old-fashioned clothes and carries with him a fine, jeweled box. Three hundred years ago he entered the Dragon Palace, and yet it seems like only a week. A month at most. A year? Certainly no more than a year. He insists that he must keep the box closed, as it's all he has. He is immune to all injury while the box is closed, but if it opens he ages 300 years in an instant and dies.

3

A crab, a chestnut, a rice mortar, and a hornet are sitting in a circle around a fire, harrowed expressions on their faces. They just killed a monkey. The other three will almost stop the crab from saying it, but in the end they won't hide it. They killed a monkey. It was justified, the crab says, but that doesn't make them a good person. The monkey killed the crab's father, and all the crab can do is hope no one loved the monkey enough to keep the cycle going. They don't know why they're talking to you. You don't need to be wrapped up in all... this.

4

A well-armed young man, a dog, a monkey, and a pheasant are travelling with purpose. If you stop to chat, the man will offer you a snack his mom made if you journey with him to Demon Island to slay all the demons on it.

5

A man offers to trade you a piece of straw for the most valuable looking thing he can see. He is incredibly insistent, but ultimately pretty powerless to actually make you do anything.

6

A woman is lost. She wears a rather formal outfit, and doesn't carry anything for protection. She doesn't even have a backpack. She won't explain where she came from, but she says she's looking for a man. She knows his name and address. He's in a nearby settlement, but she will quietly ask if you can guide her there as she is a little nervous. She can pay you in fine silks. She doesn't seem to be carrying fine silks - aside from her clothes which are made of likely the finest silk you've ever seen - but if you escort her to the address she desires, she will have them at the time you part. Every night she goes off somewhere for a few hours, perhaps to eat? She doesn't eat when you can see her.

In truth she's a spider that was saved by the man, who went to learn how to turn into a human so she could come back and weave silk for him in gratitude.

7

A teakettle with the head, legs, and tail of a fox (or a fox with the body of a teakettle?) is travelling with a bindle over his shoulder. Destination: anywhere but where he's been. Spirits: high. Expectations: low. He would appreciate some help, however. The next city is far, and he's got short legs. He'll promise to pay you if you carry him. The fox is sensitive and will run off forever if you are overly rude, but if you manage to take him to a larger settlement he will give you a minor holy relic he kept in his bindle. He took it from, "Some jerks." The teakettle is very proficient in singing and dancing, and can turn into any mundane object the rough size of a teakettle. If you insist on using that object, the fox is liable to run off forever.

8

A middle-aged, somewhat unkempt man very obviously tries to sneak up on you. He waves his magic fan at someone's nose, causing it to grow to a grotesque size. After dancing for a few seconds, he then runs away. That's the plan, anyways. He's not very good at sneaking, or at waving things in peoples' faces without being stopped, or at running away.

9

A child - only 5 or 6 - wearing nothing but a large bib and carrying a hatchet. He can converse with animals - even the ones that don't talk - and is stronger than nearly any grown adult. And he wants to wrestle. Someone's gonna have to take a fall, because you're almost definitely not beating him. He wrestles bears. And demons. And he wins.

10

This is a long, script-like thing. If you go off it, whatever. The point is this is the plan that the foxes are following.

There's an inn. Wherever you are now, there's an inn there. Inside, everything and everyone seems normal at first. There's the innkeeper, her two sons, an old priest, and an eager young courier. If you decide to eat a meal there - or otherwise stay a while - eventually everyone leaves the room for one reason or another. Everyone but the courier. They try to make small talk for a bit, then ask about how much money you make, then ask about if you have any magic items (you just seem like you'd have something cool), then they go for your weapon. Whichever weapon is the most plausible to accidentally stab yourself in a vital area with.

If they managed to draw your weapon (and you attempted to prevent them) they accidentally stab themselves dead with your weapon. If you tried to hurt them in response to them going for your weapon, they are dead. If they didn't manage to draw your weapon... you blink and they are dead, the blood is on your weapon (they tried, what are you gonna do). If they draw your weapon and you do nothing, they pause, then somehow accidentally stab themselves dead while attacking you.

This is all to say that they end up dead, one way or another. The rest of the inn inhabitants will conveniently return at this time, shocked and certain that you killed the courier. The priest will attempt to convince you that penance is necessary, and that the first step is to (shave your head/receive a holy tattoo/whatever is most appropriate for your priests). If you don't... that courier worked for some important people, who would be very angry if they knew who you were. The priest could only protect you from that if you followed the steps of penance.

So in the end, if you leave the inn before the courier dies, the inn and its inhabitants disappear with sighs of disappointment. After, they disappear with a chorus of cackles. If they manage to shave your head or tattoo you - they only get halfway through shaving one person, or only give one person a rather obnoxious tattoo - then the inn and its inhabitants disappear with raucous laughter that lasts and follows you for minutes. And if at some point you start killing the inhabitants or something, they will die quickly and without a fight, and the inn will sit quiet for a while, and then the raucous laughter will kick in and things will vanish.

The meal was real though.

Again, this probably won't cover everything the players do. The inn is created by foxes whose goal is to (give you a bad haircut/give you a wack tattoo/something similar). And they have a weird plan to do so.