Glaugust 2026: Non-Lovecraftian cosmic horror

So today's Glaugust prompt is from Semiurge, "Non-Lovecraftian cosmic horror". Hey I just did that like four blogposts ago or something! Well that's fine, I'll do it again. Here's an encounter, slot it in somewhere or use it as a short oneshot with whatever rules and setting you want.

I feel like this is implying that Weezer is a one-hit wonder and like they're totally not.

Glaugust 2026: What isn't a fighter, a wizard, a cleric, or a thief?

 So it's August and that rhymes with Glaugust and that's what we're doing. I missed the first few days but that's fine. Today's prompt is: A short class which is absolutely not a fighter, not a wizard, not a cleric and not a thief. Which sounds easy at first but "thief" is honestly such a broad category when it comes to GLOG classes that I'm not sure I succeeded.

This looks kinda like a shitty Spamton NEO but it's not.